Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
