OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
