I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
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Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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