Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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