IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
