I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
