Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
