stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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