so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
