shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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