Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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