I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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