haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
