He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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