at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
