we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
only you would photoshop your dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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