I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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