i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
