her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he shaved USA in his pubs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's never too late to be topless.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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