The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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