So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
