so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
