Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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