Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
