Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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