Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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