in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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