If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You're like the curious george of whores
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
