If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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