I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
