PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
