Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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