she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize