My room smells like vodka and shame
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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