I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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