Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
