on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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