White coat. Heels.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
