Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
