why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
