u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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