oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
