5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
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Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
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I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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