i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
