hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
