He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
