You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
