i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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