Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
