Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
