Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
