So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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