He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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