9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.