dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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