Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
