Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
