Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize