Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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