We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
