I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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