I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
